How to Get that Ring By Spring
MALIBU, CA – With spring rolling in, many Seaver students are wondering when the first ring of the season will make its appearance. You yourself may be wondering how to bag a relationship before the semester's up.
Undertow staff interviewed several members of the Pepperdine Ring by Spring Club to for their tips on how to be as lucky in love as they are. The following is a collection of their advice:
1. Dress to impress. Even if it’s hella cold outside, stride around in your almost-shorts-but-still-considered-ripped-jeans jeans. It’s that exposed knee that really drives people crazy.
2. Don’t look for love. Love is overrated. Look for sustainability. If he/she has money, then you know your tuition will be paid to get that MRS/MR degree!
3. Be patient. Wait at the end of the Starbucks line on one knee until someone finally says, “Yes!” You like coffee, they like coffee…it works out.
4. Pull out the Bible passages. If you feel tongue-tied around your potential spouse-to-be, take out your handy dandy Bible and read some lines from Song of Solomon 4, “Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil. Your neck is like the tower of David, built in rows of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors” (4:3-4). And if none of those work, then there’s always Song of Solomon 4:5.
5. Don’t date just to date. Date to get married. And fast.
6. Serenades are beautiful. People love the embarrassment of having someone break out in song in front of the lunch rush, singing about them so everyone in the caf can hear. What could go wrong?
7. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Screw fishing, though! Just go to the pet store and buy yourself a fish. *wink wink*
8. Put yourself out there. If someone says “Hi,” your immediate response should be “Marry me.” Spring is almost here. There’s no time to play the game or be picky. If anyone even says hi to you, that’s a good sign.
9. If you’re afraid you’ll be unhappy, you’ll love your spouse eventually. After years of weekly marriage counseling and a whole lot of prayer.
10. There’s no such thing as “The One.” The more you look for this “One,” the more you’re ignoring the one right in front of you: “The Convenient One.”
Undertow News takes no responsibility if this advice does not work out. But we can’t see why it won’t.
