Breaking: Pepperdine DPS Accused of Hiring Poachers to Contain Mountain Lion Infestation on Seaver C
MALIBU, CA – Poachers have been spotted lurking near the locations of the recent mountain lion sightings. 16 DPS officers have been indicted in assisting with the poaching.
“At least someone’s doing something about it,” said senior Thomas Andrews, 22, one of the indicted officers. “When we said, ‘We’ve lost sighting of the mountain lions,’ we would really just hand them over to the poachers.”
Several anonymous sources also claim that Pepperdine’s Waves’ Cafe is currently serving the mountain lion meat.
“That would make sense why meat has been tasting a little weird recently. Well, weirder than usual,” said sophomore Carrie Sanders, 20, after indulging in the “Savory Meat Steak Covered in Strong Gravy” dish as labeled by cafeteria services. Sodexo has not responded to requests for an interview.
Further comments from Pepperdine administration on this poaching scandal are expected to be released in the coming days.
