Russian Hackers Compromise University Servers
MALIBU, CA -- Pepperdine IT recently confirmed that Russian hackers compromised university networks a few weeks ago when Wavenet faced "technical difficulties". "I tried to access my Business Ethics resources tab on Courses but instead encountered racy Russian Standard Gold vodka advertisements. I thought I was going to hell for what I saw!" lamented Ray Howell, 22. Other students reported getting suspicious Pepperdine emails that spread a conspiracy theory regarding AKB colluding with Willie the Wave through a dated email server hidden in his basement. Such emails have since been debunked as false news stories. DPS was also hit with intense internet communication traffic from an unknown IP address based in Sweden. The anonymous individual repeatedly attempted to sell 3D-printed parking tokens for an absurd amount of bitcoin. DPS managed to regain normal operations after they blocked the salesperson from communicating through Pepperdine's network. Further details on the matter could not be found as the IT department experienced an electrical outage and lost most of their recent data following the breach. DPS believes that the severance of a power cable by the infamous mountain lion Simba could have been the underlying cause.
