Pepperdine Students Given Free Christian Mingle Accounts
MALIBU, CA - Providing a unique online services to benefit their student’s personal lives, administration has announced every student at least eighteen years of age will receive a premium Christian Mingle Account, complementary with the G suite. In Pepperdine’s official statement which was emailed to all students and their emergency contacts, the administrative board cited the need for their, “students to share in a life with God outside and inside of the bedroom.”
Student reaction to the upgrade in the university’s digital services so far has been mixed. Junior Ray Howell, 20, expressed his enthusiasm, saying, “I am very much looking forward to finding a woman with whom I can share my passion for Christ and possibly my great enjoyment of magic shows.”
Conveying sentiments on the other side of the spectrum, junior Andrew Thomas has gone on the record with the statement, “God’s not real.”
Junior Jade Patinkin has given a more lukewarm reaction, offering, “I mean, I probably won’t use it. Actually wait, aren’t premium accounts like thirty bucks? Where’s the money coming from?”
Surveyed alumni donors could not be happier with the move, with over 90% of respondents expressing great satisfaction with the school’s direction.
When interviewed asking why they had opted to enroll students in the premium plan (the exact amount paid for the 7,000 account package still undisclosed), a representative from Pepperdine’s administration offered, “With premium accounts, they are able to view read receipts, browse profiles anonymously, have greater control of their profiles, and send messages to all paid subscribers. These aspects are all crucial in streamlining the journey many students undertake to get engaged before spring semester their senior year.”
