Mountain Lion Returns to Pepperdine
MALIBU, CA - This Wednesday evening, the Department of Public Safety received yet another report of a bigfoot sighting. The student who reported the incident claimed to have seen the beast roaming the university grounds near the Seaver and Baxter Drive intersection. When DPS officers arrived on scene, they only found some fresh mountain lion tracks, a torn bag of Mrs. Vicks, and a warm scat that was then removed from the property by Pepperdine facilities the following morning. When further questioned, the student corrected his initial report and speculated that it may have been a mountain lion instead
The recent sighting has stirred concern among many Pepperdine students, and some have begun requesting regular courtesy escorts at night from DPS officers, local staff who have access to a vehicle, and even from AKB and his reliable golf cart.
When asked about the situation, the Housing and Residence Life office reaffirmed that Upper and Lower Dorm Road would remain off limits to student vehicles to ensure the safety of pedestrians should the lion be sighted in that area. In light of this policy, the Department of Public Safety has also considered lifting the ban on scooters and skateboards on campus to ensure students’ safety should emergency response vehicles be in short supply. However, students are still advised to follow the 5mph speed limit at all times.
The IT department has been hit hard as well. Use of the LiveSafe Mobile Application has increased substantially since the sighting, and this increased traffic has put a large burden on Pepperdine servers. In addition, reports of a freelancing developer have resurfaced, along with a third-party application, LiveSafer. Some believe that this newer invention may provide a sufficient alternative when the Pepperdine system experiences unexpected crashes and planned maintenance outages.
Some faculty have explored novel strategies to combat this disturbing development, including prayer groups and animal rights seminars. One creative student has even proposed a club convocation that would cover the Biblical legend of Daniel in the lions’ den and provide some hope for students.
As of now, authorities from U.S. Fish and Wildlife are not sure which mountain lion has been frequenting Pepperdine’s campus. Since they were unable to locate the animal or detect any animal tag in the vicinity, they have code-named the animal Simba until further information can be collected.
