Rush Season is Upon Us
MALIBU, CA - Thursday, as the clock on the wall struck twelve three times in the pitch black night signaling the ushering in of the ritual that must be completed by the year’s tenth full moon, the pact was sealed and sororities and fraternities on Pepperdine’s Seaver campus began their yearly rush, sources confirmed Thursday.
“We’re really excited to get to know some cool new freshmen and other girls considering our sorority during the week,” said Pi Beta Phi head priest senior Josephine Simmons, 21, while donned in a midnight black robe with red lining. “We’re excited to see not only what they can offer us but what we can offer them.”
Hundreds of freshmen all across campus were reported to be excited for the event and making the preparations required for one to partake.
“I’m hoping I get a bid from Alpha Phi,” said freshman Iris Amora, 18. “But if I don’t, I’d be happy to be accepted by the Kappas, and would gladly do what would be the Owl would command of me.”
Echoing similar enthusiasm about the upcoming annual Greek life ceremony, sophomore John O’Dowd, 19, said, “I didn’t rush as a freshman because I didn’t really see the need to. But after talking about it with some friends who are great guys in fraternities like Psi U and Delts, I understood. I understood it at once.”
When interviewed about rush, senior Jacob Orton, 22, who holds an undisclosed leadership position for his fraternity Delta Tau Delta, offered, “We’ve got some great bonding activities planned. Our first event is a Tailgate Barbecue, then we got a beach hangout, some dodgeball, some sacrifices upon the omega altar, and even some mini golf a bit later in the week. It’s going to be a great week and I look forward to talking to a lot of potential brothers.”
When asked about what kind of men they were hoping to recruit, Orton answered, “Just some cool, committed dudes who we’d like to hang out with and who will adhere to our Creed and not betray the brotherhood that sustains us.”
Finally, when asked what word they would use to replace “Pledge” after it was banned by Pepperdine, every member of leadership of each Greek life organization on Pepperdine soil materialized in the flickering light from candles that not had been set up prior to the interview and said in unison, “Discipleship,” before disappearing like spectres in a forgotten dream.
