Report: Your Friends Still Haven't Broken Up Yet
MALIBU, CA - Your friends juniors Andrew Thomas, 20, and Jessica Naso, 21, who have been pseudo-dating for about a year, still haven’t ended the relationship. Sources reported that on Wednesday Naso posted a picture of Thomas at Santa Monica Pier with the caption, “Thanks for being the best beach buddy,” capped off with a heart emoji.
The “relationship” began nine months ago when they were abroad in Germany together and went to get coffee one day, prompting you and most of the other residents of the program to believe they’d be just a fling. The couple proved you all wrong by continuing to go on dates every now and then for the ensuing five months, despite complete lack of romantic chemistry, their constant bickering, incompatible personalities, irreconcilable values, and the fact that they have actually not grown more comfortable in each other’s presence during the entire duration and truthfully resent each other at their cores. Reports show that you and most of their friends are still trying to figure out what exactly they see in each other.
One anonymous source opined that they are together because, “She seems to like his hair and he seems to like that she gives him attention.”
You and the other friends also do not find the couple to even look remotely cute together. Junior Jade Patinkin, 20, has said, “Their faces just do not match up in the slightest. It’s like wearing a striped shirt with a brightly colored pair of capri shorts. You just shouldn’t do it.”
You have been quoted as saying, “Just by looking at them you can tell they’re forcing it.”
Sources report at press time, you are unable to fathom why they have been together for so long when you haven’t found been able to find yourself in a meaningful, long-lasting relationship.
